Open square

The conference was in full swing at a place not too disimilar from an Oxford college. There was a lunch break in the proceedings and many people decided to help themselves to a buffet theat had been laid on for us. I helped myself to a huge slice of cheesecake. G was there, and so were some people from work including JM. As I was tucking into some of the cake I got talking to JM about the project we were both involved with. I was concious that G was there, but knew nothing about the project, and felt we should change the subject so that she could join in. As we got talking, Mahler's 8th Symphony was being played across the quad for all conference participants. JM asked me why I wasn't in the project board meeting that was meeting at that moment, and I replied that I had not been invited. I helped myself to another huge slice of cake. Everyone laughed at the sight of it, so I thought better and just took half of that slice!

I was with M on a camping trip. When we arrived M suggested I join up the three dome tents, and use the one with windows for our breakfast parlour. However I had only brought along one dome tent. I went inside it, and when I looked around it was not a dome tent at all - but a large spacious 'house' tent. It even had two floors! The main room (which I thought could be for breakfast) was lovely and light - magnolia coloured canvas walls, with big windows to light up the room.

Sometime the next day M told me that she had great fun camping with me as she could hear me talking in my sleep. in particular she mentioned me talking about going to Thailand. And on another occasion she heard me talking about chocolate underpants. I was embarrassed about that! But then I started to remember the dream I had where that had come up.

I dreamt I was watching a gameshow presented by two drag queens, or two middle aged women dressed over the top. On their show were three middle aged women who were showing off their figures in sparkly outfits. One of the drag queen presenters commented that one of the ladies was wearing chocolate underpants to the amusement of the audience...

I am staying at a hotel and D, my boyfriend, is with me. We are getting back together and so taking it easy. Tomorrow there is an event and we are both involved in it and my family will be attending.

We spend the night in the hotel together but in separate rooms. The next morning I get changed into my suit - a light grey/green colour, pale yellow shirt and golden tie. I wander over to D's room where he is still getting ready and is in the shower. I talk to him as I walk around his room and then go into the bathroom. He is shaving while in the shower and has shaving cream all over his face. I grab him in the shower and he grabs me and I stand in the shower getting my suit wet from him and the splashes from the shower head. As a joke he runs his shaving foam all over my head and we kiss each other as he takes off my jacket.

Sometime later, D and I are separately involved in the event. My family turn up and we have to walk to get to the right location. M, E, D, D and J are there. We are walking around the town which is both an old and new town, and we all know it well. We chat about which parts of the town we like as we walk through modern run down bits into a quirky narrow street, rather like the Shambles in York. J refers to M as RH. This puzzles M at first, but doesn't mind as it makes her feel a personal connection with J.

I was staying with my father's side of the family in a building that was a cross between J&I's house and a hotel. A handsome stranger was staying with the family and staying in a separate wing of the building that was unfamiliar to me (it was his suite).

One afternoon we were alone together. He was doing some work in his room, moving things around, whilst I was siting down on a sofa chatting to him. He came over to me and sat on the sofa next to mine so we were close to each other, paused his conversation and looked at me as if he were trying to say something. And then he said:

" You know, since I've been staying here I've often been restless at night. Sometimes I need to go to the toilet, so I have been coming up to the bathroom near your room. I was initially attracted because I always heard some noise in this part of the buidling. What I've noticed, and probably no one has told you before, is that whilst you sleep you shout out at the top of your voice. And you say the most horrible, violent, crazy and evil things that I have ever heard someone say. This has gone on ever since I have arrived here, and nobody dares mention it. I think you should go and get some help."

I felt awful about this because nobody had dared mention a word of it to me before. I also felt like his intentions weren't entirely pure of heart, i.e. he wasn't saying this to me entirely for my personal good and well being. It was as if he was playing a game in which he was dominant and wanted to both seduce me and make me upset.

I remember later that he was leaving the building. I couldn't get what he had said out of my head. I felt powerless under him and a part of me wanted to give in to his dominance over me. But a part of me resisted. I went over to his suite, where he was packing things into a trunk, and went into his room with a wish that he would stay and something would happen between us...

I had spent a week away from work on holiday. I had divided up my time equally between seeing family and friends. I have the feeling I saw my family abroad and that I saw my friends in London in an appartment.

I can't remember an awful lot except me standing in the appartment where my neighbour in real life was staying in the same room as me (in real life he disturbs my sleep with loud noise from his flat). I was watching TV - an irrelevant program with someone's face zoomed in close up on the screen. I was on the phone to someone looking out of the large windows over London. I was telling them how busy the week had been but that I had felt like I had got away from work completely. Looking out of the window I could see the Thames. By one of the docks stood Birmingham University campus, with its red brick buildings and huge domes. It never occurred to me in the dream that the University of Birmingham could not be in London.
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